I was reading your post about all the thoughts you're having about the baby and motherhood and I know that feeling -- it's like a never-ending cycle of what ifs. Your worries about skin to skin stuck out to me the most, though, because I remember that, too.
Everything you read makes you feel like, unless your baby is skin to skin with you the second she's born, you might as well forget about it. She's ruined, your bond is ruined, and you'll probably never breastfeed successfully.
So even though I know I can't completely calm your worries, I'm going to tell you about my experience, and hopefully it will help a bit. Or (like with anything I ever write) you can completly ignore it. As long as you do what feels right for you and your baby, everything else will work out.
I had the picture in my mind. I knew I was going to push one last time, out would come my baby, and he would go right on my chest. I would tell the nurses they could examine and weigh him later. I would ask them to save all the assessments until at least thirty minutes after he had been born, so we would have a beautiful first moment together and our bond would be sealed.
A nice idea.
Except, of course, what actually happened was nothing like that. There was a last push, but there was also a baby who wasn't doing very well. Who was not put gently into my arms but was instead whisked into the arms of a sea of doctors and nurses. A baby who spent what seemed like forever being poked and prodded and suctioned instead of being cuddled on my chest. At that moment, all I wanted was for everything to be ok. There wasn't time to think about skin to skin or anything else I had hoped for.
Eventually, though, he did get brought over to me and we did get to be skin to skin. It feels like it took hours to get there. In reality, it was probably less than ten minutes. We stayed that way for a few minutes before they took him away again to weigh him and wrap him up. I also got to try nursing him in the delivery room (before moving to the room we actually stayed in) but it was at least an hour after he was born (not as soon as "they" recommend).
Once we were in our new room, everyone went to sleep (since we were all exhausted). I think Jack was mostly in his little plastic tub bassinet thing, but I don't really remember -- it's kind of a blur. But starting the morning after he was born, we spent a lot (maybe most?) of the rest of our hospital stay skin to skin. Since we didn't have any visitors (because of the hospital's policy), I didn't really have to worry about being presentable, and Jack didn't have to be in clothes or all wrapped up to keep warm (because he wasn't being passed around at all). I didn't do a lot of skin to skin with him once we got back home (because the public health nurse who visited freaked me out by telling me he was cold) but it was always a good way to calm him down when nothing else worked.
So I would definitely say I'm a big fan of skin to skin, and I think all the time Jack and spent that way in the hospital was part (but only part) of the reason he nursed really well almost right away. That being said, I certainly don't think our bond suffered because we missed out on those first few moments. I can imagine it must be stressful for you to think about a c-section and to wonder what will happen with your baby right after she's born. If skin to skin is something you want, talk to you doctor about it. Often, I think it's only about half an hour before you're out of the operating room and into recovery, but I know it may be longer for you, so see what your doctor has to say. If you aren't able to be skin to skin in the first few hours, don't panic. Spend the time cuddled together when you can. Because really, it's not those first minutes that make or break your bond. I promise.
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