Sorry -- I didn't really mean to write so much about breastfeeding. It's just that I've spent so much time nursing over the last 15 months.... But this is really, really the last one.
A couple of tips (that I'm sure you've already heard, but I think these were the most important ones for me in the beginning)
1) Drink LOTS of water. "Water makes milk," a nurse told me. You make milk when you're well-hydrated, so drink lots (lots and lots and lots) and keep a glass of water nearby for while you're nursing (I have never felt that kind of thirst in my life).
2) Nurse on demand, especially at first. Don't worry about getting your baby on a schedule -- it will happen eventually. Instead, nurse her as often as she wants. Even when it seems like she couldn't possibly be hungry again. Even when people say "does that baby do anything other than eat?". It really is the best way to get a good supply going and to get the hang of it. And, since for a baby, breastfeeding is as much about comfort and security as it is about food, I don't really think there is such a thing as nursing a newborn too much. And next baby, I will remember to tell myself that, too.
3) Know where to turn for help, and ask for help right away. Breastfeeding should be totally natural and easy, but it's not. It's uncomfortable at first. It's kind of awkward. It's all new. Even though having strangers man-handle you doesn't sound great, getting the help you need when things aren't going quite right is so much better than the alternative of struggling alone. Don't wait until you're miserable, either. Ask the nurses at the hospital. Ask the public health nurses. Ask whoever you're comfortable with. And then keep asking until you get the help you need.
4) Call me. I'm a really good cheerleader and commiserator.
Friday, December 28, 2012
Monday, December 17, 2012
Birth Story
"I was in labour for five days! I thought I was going to die. And THEN I had to push for FOUR hours!"
When I was pregnant, everyone wanted to share their birth stories with me. Each one seemed worse than the last. It was as if everyone was trying to scare me about just how bad things could really be.
But then I had Jack. And like with so many other things, I finally understood. I know why everyone wants to share.
In a way, I think birth stories are like war stories. Birth is a powerful experience that requires a huge amount of mental and physical strength. So I think it's natural that when a pregnant woman is around, at some point the conversation turns to birth stories. A birth story feels like a badge of honour. "Look what I survived. Look what I can handle," it says.
After Jack was born, I felt like I had survived my own private battle. I know that sounds totally dramatic, but it's how I really felt. I had been through something huge and life changing, had survived, and had been given a beautiful, perfect baby. Where was my parade? My medal for bravery? And that's when I got it. Telling your story is sort of your medal. I wanted people to hear what I had been through -- to hear them say "Wow. Are you ever tough" or "I remember that feeling." And in return, other people wanted me to hear their stories, too.
So if you feel like I did, and you want to tell someone all the details of your baby's birth, I'll be there to listen, no matter how many times you want to tell it. I've been through that kind of battle too, so I'll know how brave you were.
When I was pregnant, everyone wanted to share their birth stories with me. Each one seemed worse than the last. It was as if everyone was trying to scare me about just how bad things could really be.
But then I had Jack. And like with so many other things, I finally understood. I know why everyone wants to share.
In a way, I think birth stories are like war stories. Birth is a powerful experience that requires a huge amount of mental and physical strength. So I think it's natural that when a pregnant woman is around, at some point the conversation turns to birth stories. A birth story feels like a badge of honour. "Look what I survived. Look what I can handle," it says.
After Jack was born, I felt like I had survived my own private battle. I know that sounds totally dramatic, but it's how I really felt. I had been through something huge and life changing, had survived, and had been given a beautiful, perfect baby. Where was my parade? My medal for bravery? And that's when I got it. Telling your story is sort of your medal. I wanted people to hear what I had been through -- to hear them say "Wow. Are you ever tough" or "I remember that feeling." And in return, other people wanted me to hear their stories, too.
So if you feel like I did, and you want to tell someone all the details of your baby's birth, I'll be there to listen, no matter how many times you want to tell it. I've been through that kind of battle too, so I'll know how brave you were.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Got Milk: Breastfeeding, Part 2 (the hospital)
Ok, I promise I'm almost done talking about nursing. This is in case you find it as helpful as I did to hear other people's experiences. I especially liked to hear about what happened with other people in the first few days with their babies because it made me feel like I could have at least some idea of what to expect in the hospital (which felt like a complete unknown).
So here you have it -- the story of the first few days of nursing. If this is TMI, just skip it...
I first tried nursing Jack about an hour after he was born (or it might have been a bit sooner or a bit later -- the time line is a blur). It was definitely a strange feeling, but all the nurses told me he clearly knew what he was doing. I was relieved.
That would have been about 2 am. Around six or seven, once we had moved to our new room, a nurse came to get Jack to do some regular blood work. When she brought him back, she told me his blood sugar was low (probably from his traumatic birth) and that he needed to eat. She had a bottle of formula already in the bassinet with him. Even though I was exhausted (and so was he!), I pleaded with her to let me try nursing him instead. I think she was a bit frustrated -- it would have been faster and easier to just give him the bottle -- but I'm glad I stuck to my guns. He managed to nurse a little, which was enough for then. I was definitely disappointed that the nurse didn't seem to be very supportive, but luckily I didn't see her again. Another nurse came in a bit later and helped me pump a bit of colostrum and gave it to Jack with a syringe (so he wouldn't have to work hard, but would still get milk).
A day or so later (when we were still in the hospital), Jack had an evening where he was very fussy and wouldn't latch on well when I tried nursing (he'd latched pretty well until then). Jahn found me a sweet older nurse to see if she could help. She told me one of the reasons he was fussing was probably that he was mad he couldn't get milk faster. She explained that colostrum, the first, very rich milk you produce, is also very thick. She compared it to drinking a Peters milkshake out of a thin straw. That helped me understand a bit better what was going on. I was also concerned that his stomach hurt - he seemed to be curling up his legs and wailing in pain. She told me that my body heat was the best thing for him -- putting his little tummy on mine and letting him feel my warmth was the best way to help him. I liked that idea. And, wouldn't you know it, once I felt better and calmer, he did too. Amazing.
Jack was a pretty good at figuring out nursing from the start. I won't lie -- it still hurt in the beginning, but it got better once I found the position that worked for us. And when I left the hospital, I was confident we would be able to figure this out.
And clearly we did, since Jack is still going strong (with no signs of weaning...) fifteen months later.
So here you have it -- the story of the first few days of nursing. If this is TMI, just skip it...
I first tried nursing Jack about an hour after he was born (or it might have been a bit sooner or a bit later -- the time line is a blur). It was definitely a strange feeling, but all the nurses told me he clearly knew what he was doing. I was relieved.
That would have been about 2 am. Around six or seven, once we had moved to our new room, a nurse came to get Jack to do some regular blood work. When she brought him back, she told me his blood sugar was low (probably from his traumatic birth) and that he needed to eat. She had a bottle of formula already in the bassinet with him. Even though I was exhausted (and so was he!), I pleaded with her to let me try nursing him instead. I think she was a bit frustrated -- it would have been faster and easier to just give him the bottle -- but I'm glad I stuck to my guns. He managed to nurse a little, which was enough for then. I was definitely disappointed that the nurse didn't seem to be very supportive, but luckily I didn't see her again. Another nurse came in a bit later and helped me pump a bit of colostrum and gave it to Jack with a syringe (so he wouldn't have to work hard, but would still get milk).
A day or so later (when we were still in the hospital), Jack had an evening where he was very fussy and wouldn't latch on well when I tried nursing (he'd latched pretty well until then). Jahn found me a sweet older nurse to see if she could help. She told me one of the reasons he was fussing was probably that he was mad he couldn't get milk faster. She explained that colostrum, the first, very rich milk you produce, is also very thick. She compared it to drinking a Peters milkshake out of a thin straw. That helped me understand a bit better what was going on. I was also concerned that his stomach hurt - he seemed to be curling up his legs and wailing in pain. She told me that my body heat was the best thing for him -- putting his little tummy on mine and letting him feel my warmth was the best way to help him. I liked that idea. And, wouldn't you know it, once I felt better and calmer, he did too. Amazing.
Jack was a pretty good at figuring out nursing from the start. I won't lie -- it still hurt in the beginning, but it got better once I found the position that worked for us. And when I left the hospital, I was confident we would be able to figure this out.
And clearly we did, since Jack is still going strong (with no signs of weaning...) fifteen months later.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Bridesmaid
When Jahn and I were planning our wedding, we did most of it ourselves. It's not that we didn't have people willing to help, it's just that we like to plan and organize, so we were happy to do it. Sometimes you hear about weddings where the bridesmaids shoulder a ton of the work, but that definitely wasn't us.
You know when I could have used a bridesmaid, though? When I was doing some of the more mundane tasks associated with getting ready for my baby. That's not to say I didn't have help -- I seem to remember you putting up wall paper and folding mountains of baby laundry, among other things (thank you again for doing all that, by the way). But some of the tasks aren't really things you can ask someone else to do (buy breast pads? Go to a mat leave seminar?).
There's so much to do to get ready that I remember feeling it was a bit much at times. Sometimes it wasn't even that I knew exactly what I should be doing. I just felt like there was stuff I wasn't getting to that I should...
So here are some things I can do for you, even from far away. I know you don't need me to do any of these things -- you are organized and together -- but now you can skip some of the boring stuff and enjoy some of the more fun stuff.
Wondering about Peter Lougheed Hospital? Here's an online tour, in case you haven't seen it already.
Thinking about a prenatal class? Alberta Health has a ton of different classes and options:
-A two hour class about Baby Care
-A free course about breastfeeding
-A course just for Dads
Don't feel like actually going to a class? Alberta Health also has a ton of classes online:
- Caring for Baby
- Breastfeeding
- Feeding challenges
- Dealing with change
- Getting to know your baby
You can find them all here and they're all free.
Trying to think of a baby name?
This website is super cool. It will give you a list of names (there's a little drop down menu so you can ask for only girls' names). Click on the picture of a star for any of the names you like. Once you've picked up to six names, click "find names". It makes a list of a bunch of other names you might also like. Seriously -- try it out. I'm having a great time playing with it, and I don't even have anyone to name right now.
Got your iPad nearby?
Download an app called Baby Kick Counter. It does all the work, so your pregnancy brain doesn't have to keep track. And it's only $0.99. Awesome.
Now go put you feet up, because look at all the work you've done!
You know when I could have used a bridesmaid, though? When I was doing some of the more mundane tasks associated with getting ready for my baby. That's not to say I didn't have help -- I seem to remember you putting up wall paper and folding mountains of baby laundry, among other things (thank you again for doing all that, by the way). But some of the tasks aren't really things you can ask someone else to do (buy breast pads? Go to a mat leave seminar?).
There's so much to do to get ready that I remember feeling it was a bit much at times. Sometimes it wasn't even that I knew exactly what I should be doing. I just felt like there was stuff I wasn't getting to that I should...
So here are some things I can do for you, even from far away. I know you don't need me to do any of these things -- you are organized and together -- but now you can skip some of the boring stuff and enjoy some of the more fun stuff.
Wondering about Peter Lougheed Hospital? Here's an online tour, in case you haven't seen it already.
Thinking about a prenatal class? Alberta Health has a ton of different classes and options:
-A two hour class about Baby Care
-A free course about breastfeeding
-A course just for Dads
Don't feel like actually going to a class? Alberta Health also has a ton of classes online:
- Caring for Baby
- Breastfeeding
- Feeding challenges
- Dealing with change
- Getting to know your baby
You can find them all here and they're all free.
Trying to think of a baby name?
This website is super cool. It will give you a list of names (there's a little drop down menu so you can ask for only girls' names). Click on the picture of a star for any of the names you like. Once you've picked up to six names, click "find names". It makes a list of a bunch of other names you might also like. Seriously -- try it out. I'm having a great time playing with it, and I don't even have anyone to name right now.
Got your iPad nearby?
Download an app called Baby Kick Counter. It does all the work, so your pregnancy brain doesn't have to keep track. And it's only $0.99. Awesome.
Now go put you feet up, because look at all the work you've done!
Friday, November 23, 2012
Got Milk: Breastfeeding, Part 1
One of the big unknowns for me about actually having my baby was breastfeeding. We learned about it in my prenatal class, but it's kind of hard to really feel prepared.... So I have a few posts for you about nursing. If you're not ready to think about it yet, just skip these and come back later.
I was really lucky that breastfeeding worked well with Jack. It's not that it never hurt, or that I didn't have any frustrating moments. But overall, the whole experience was as good as I ever could have hoped (and obviously Jack thinks so too, since he's still going strong with no signs of weaning fourteen months later...). I know that's not everyone's experience, and I have a lot of respect for women who stick with it even when it's tough.
http://www.todaysparent.com/blogs/tracys-mama-memoirs/5-things-i-wish-id-known-about-breastfeeding
I was really lucky that breastfeeding worked well with Jack. It's not that it never hurt, or that I didn't have any frustrating moments. But overall, the whole experience was as good as I ever could have hoped (and obviously Jack thinks so too, since he's still going strong with no signs of weaning fourteen months later...). I know that's not everyone's experience, and I have a lot of respect for women who stick with it even when it's tough.
I found this posted today on Today's Parent, and it has a lot of what I was going to say about nursing, so I thought I would just include the link instead of restating everything.
http://www.todaysparent.com/blogs/tracys-mama-memoirs/5-things-i-wish-id-known-about-breastfeeding
Really, it's hard to prepare for what it will be like. One thing I would add is to buy at least a couple of loose shirts you can nurse in and a couple of soft nursing bras (the softer, the better. The girls are sore). I'm not sure why I didn't buy anything like that before Jack was born, but I regretted it after. I also should have bought a night bra or some nursing pyjamas. That would have saved me a whole lot of milk-soaked laundry....
I think the other really important point the article makes is that, at the end of the day, the goal is to have a well-fed baby. If breastfeeding is making you miserable and interfering with your bonding time, it might be time to stop. Enjoying your baby is the most important thing.
I think the other really important point the article makes is that, at the end of the day, the goal is to have a well-fed baby. If breastfeeding is making you miserable and interfering with your bonding time, it might be time to stop. Enjoying your baby is the most important thing.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Did You Know....?
Newborns are fascinating little creatures. Here's one of the amazing (and weird) things about them.
I was a bit nervous about how breastfeeding would go, especially in the first few days. It's one of those things I felt like I couldn't really prepare for. I was worried my baby wouldn't be able to latch and then would starve...Then one of my doctors told me this weird (and strangely reassuring) little factoid:
Babies are born with something called brown fat. It's the same thing bears have in their bodies that allows them to hibernate (true story). As humans, we only have brown fat for the first few days of our lives and then never again. Since a woman's milk doesn't come in right away after giving birth, nature has given newborns extra fuel to burn in those early days. In fact, babies can basically live off just that fat for two or three days.
It's like nature is saying "it's ok if you need some time to get this nursing thing going. This baby is going to be just fine."
Crazy, eh?
I was a bit nervous about how breastfeeding would go, especially in the first few days. It's one of those things I felt like I couldn't really prepare for. I was worried my baby wouldn't be able to latch and then would starve...Then one of my doctors told me this weird (and strangely reassuring) little factoid:
Babies are born with something called brown fat. It's the same thing bears have in their bodies that allows them to hibernate (true story). As humans, we only have brown fat for the first few days of our lives and then never again. Since a woman's milk doesn't come in right away after giving birth, nature has given newborns extra fuel to burn in those early days. In fact, babies can basically live off just that fat for two or three days.
It's like nature is saying "it's ok if you need some time to get this nursing thing going. This baby is going to be just fine."
Crazy, eh?
Friday, November 9, 2012
Thought of the Day
We all spend time comparing ourselves to others. I'm not sure exactly why we do (maybe to see where we fit in the world?) but I'm confident that everyone has compared themselves to someone else at some point.
As a mom, there are days I wonder about how I stack up to other moms. Am I making the right choices? Is it bad that I don't use only cloth diapers, or that I do use jars of baby food? Do I read to my baby enough? Should I spend time teaching him names of colours or what sounds animals make? Am I enough?
Those questions are bad enough when you're just asking them of yourself. But when you add other moms into the picture, it's always worse. Other moms seem more rested, better dressed and more put together. They bake, craft, and make all their own baby food, diapers, and toys. Their babies use sign language, can name and imitate every animal at the zoo, eat only organics, sleep 12 hours a night (which they started doing at three weeks old), and are learning to read.
Being a mom can be really empowering, but it can also highlight all your insecurities. You become strong in one way, and completely vulnerable in another.
So I have a new mantra for those insecure days. I read it somewhere, so maybe you've seen it to. It's the best reminder I have found to stop from getting down on myself when those "Maybe I should be ..." thoughts creep up:
"The reason we struggle with insecurities is that we spend time comparing our behind-the-scenes to everyone else's highlight reel."
So when you have one of those days as a mom, try thinking about that idea. Then tell yourself you are enough -- so much more than enough.
As a mom, there are days I wonder about how I stack up to other moms. Am I making the right choices? Is it bad that I don't use only cloth diapers, or that I do use jars of baby food? Do I read to my baby enough? Should I spend time teaching him names of colours or what sounds animals make? Am I enough?
Those questions are bad enough when you're just asking them of yourself. But when you add other moms into the picture, it's always worse. Other moms seem more rested, better dressed and more put together. They bake, craft, and make all their own baby food, diapers, and toys. Their babies use sign language, can name and imitate every animal at the zoo, eat only organics, sleep 12 hours a night (which they started doing at three weeks old), and are learning to read.
Being a mom can be really empowering, but it can also highlight all your insecurities. You become strong in one way, and completely vulnerable in another.
So I have a new mantra for those insecure days. I read it somewhere, so maybe you've seen it to. It's the best reminder I have found to stop from getting down on myself when those "Maybe I should be ..." thoughts creep up:
"The reason we struggle with insecurities is that we spend time comparing our behind-the-scenes to everyone else's highlight reel."
So when you have one of those days as a mom, try thinking about that idea. Then tell yourself you are enough -- so much more than enough.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Skin to Skin
I was reading your post about all the thoughts you're having about the baby and motherhood and I know that feeling -- it's like a never-ending cycle of what ifs. Your worries about skin to skin stuck out to me the most, though, because I remember that, too.
Everything you read makes you feel like, unless your baby is skin to skin with you the second she's born, you might as well forget about it. She's ruined, your bond is ruined, and you'll probably never breastfeed successfully.
So even though I know I can't completely calm your worries, I'm going to tell you about my experience, and hopefully it will help a bit. Or (like with anything I ever write) you can completly ignore it. As long as you do what feels right for you and your baby, everything else will work out.
I had the picture in my mind. I knew I was going to push one last time, out would come my baby, and he would go right on my chest. I would tell the nurses they could examine and weigh him later. I would ask them to save all the assessments until at least thirty minutes after he had been born, so we would have a beautiful first moment together and our bond would be sealed.
A nice idea.
Except, of course, what actually happened was nothing like that. There was a last push, but there was also a baby who wasn't doing very well. Who was not put gently into my arms but was instead whisked into the arms of a sea of doctors and nurses. A baby who spent what seemed like forever being poked and prodded and suctioned instead of being cuddled on my chest. At that moment, all I wanted was for everything to be ok. There wasn't time to think about skin to skin or anything else I had hoped for.
Eventually, though, he did get brought over to me and we did get to be skin to skin. It feels like it took hours to get there. In reality, it was probably less than ten minutes. We stayed that way for a few minutes before they took him away again to weigh him and wrap him up. I also got to try nursing him in the delivery room (before moving to the room we actually stayed in) but it was at least an hour after he was born (not as soon as "they" recommend).
Once we were in our new room, everyone went to sleep (since we were all exhausted). I think Jack was mostly in his little plastic tub bassinet thing, but I don't really remember -- it's kind of a blur. But starting the morning after he was born, we spent a lot (maybe most?) of the rest of our hospital stay skin to skin. Since we didn't have any visitors (because of the hospital's policy), I didn't really have to worry about being presentable, and Jack didn't have to be in clothes or all wrapped up to keep warm (because he wasn't being passed around at all). I didn't do a lot of skin to skin with him once we got back home (because the public health nurse who visited freaked me out by telling me he was cold) but it was always a good way to calm him down when nothing else worked.
So I would definitely say I'm a big fan of skin to skin, and I think all the time Jack and spent that way in the hospital was part (but only part) of the reason he nursed really well almost right away. That being said, I certainly don't think our bond suffered because we missed out on those first few moments. I can imagine it must be stressful for you to think about a c-section and to wonder what will happen with your baby right after she's born. If skin to skin is something you want, talk to you doctor about it. Often, I think it's only about half an hour before you're out of the operating room and into recovery, but I know it may be longer for you, so see what your doctor has to say. If you aren't able to be skin to skin in the first few hours, don't panic. Spend the time cuddled together when you can. Because really, it's not those first minutes that make or break your bond. I promise.
Everything you read makes you feel like, unless your baby is skin to skin with you the second she's born, you might as well forget about it. She's ruined, your bond is ruined, and you'll probably never breastfeed successfully.
So even though I know I can't completely calm your worries, I'm going to tell you about my experience, and hopefully it will help a bit. Or (like with anything I ever write) you can completly ignore it. As long as you do what feels right for you and your baby, everything else will work out.
I had the picture in my mind. I knew I was going to push one last time, out would come my baby, and he would go right on my chest. I would tell the nurses they could examine and weigh him later. I would ask them to save all the assessments until at least thirty minutes after he had been born, so we would have a beautiful first moment together and our bond would be sealed.
A nice idea.
Except, of course, what actually happened was nothing like that. There was a last push, but there was also a baby who wasn't doing very well. Who was not put gently into my arms but was instead whisked into the arms of a sea of doctors and nurses. A baby who spent what seemed like forever being poked and prodded and suctioned instead of being cuddled on my chest. At that moment, all I wanted was for everything to be ok. There wasn't time to think about skin to skin or anything else I had hoped for.
Eventually, though, he did get brought over to me and we did get to be skin to skin. It feels like it took hours to get there. In reality, it was probably less than ten minutes. We stayed that way for a few minutes before they took him away again to weigh him and wrap him up. I also got to try nursing him in the delivery room (before moving to the room we actually stayed in) but it was at least an hour after he was born (not as soon as "they" recommend).
Once we were in our new room, everyone went to sleep (since we were all exhausted). I think Jack was mostly in his little plastic tub bassinet thing, but I don't really remember -- it's kind of a blur. But starting the morning after he was born, we spent a lot (maybe most?) of the rest of our hospital stay skin to skin. Since we didn't have any visitors (because of the hospital's policy), I didn't really have to worry about being presentable, and Jack didn't have to be in clothes or all wrapped up to keep warm (because he wasn't being passed around at all). I didn't do a lot of skin to skin with him once we got back home (because the public health nurse who visited freaked me out by telling me he was cold) but it was always a good way to calm him down when nothing else worked.
So I would definitely say I'm a big fan of skin to skin, and I think all the time Jack and spent that way in the hospital was part (but only part) of the reason he nursed really well almost right away. That being said, I certainly don't think our bond suffered because we missed out on those first few moments. I can imagine it must be stressful for you to think about a c-section and to wonder what will happen with your baby right after she's born. If skin to skin is something you want, talk to you doctor about it. Often, I think it's only about half an hour before you're out of the operating room and into recovery, but I know it may be longer for you, so see what your doctor has to say. If you aren't able to be skin to skin in the first few hours, don't panic. Spend the time cuddled together when you can. Because really, it's not those first minutes that make or break your bond. I promise.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Babies: The Movie
I was just talking with a friend of mine about the movie Babies. I don't know if you saw the 2010 documentary the followed four babies throughout their first year in different parts of the world. I had wanted to see it when it first came out, but didn't manage to get around to it until I was more than eight months pregnant. Turns out, that was the best possible time I could have watched it.
So here are my top five reasons you should think about finding a copy and watching it before your baby joins you. And if you've already seen it, watch it again now that you're pregnant.
1. Babies are adorable....
.....and hilarious. Sit back and be entertained by all the things these babies get into. Laugh, and enjoy thinking about how cute your own baby will be.
2. It will remind you how much stuff we have...
....that makes our lives as moms here in Canada so comfortable. Heat. Electricity. Running water. Health care. Cars. You will be reminded of how thankful we should be for all of our everyday conveniences.
3. It will remind you how much stuff we have...
.....that makes our lives as moms way more complicated than they need to be. Raising a baby is such big business here. We're constantly surrounded by companies telling us we absolutely need their product to raise happy, healthy, smart babies. Watch the mother and baby in Namibia -- they seem to be doing just fine without Baby Einstein or a wipes warmer. Or diapers...(but that's another post).
4. It will show you how incredibly resilient babies are....
.....and how we can be a little less worried about everything. When Jack started playing on the floor, I would worry about what kind of germs he was crawling through and sucking on. But as I would start to get worked up, I would think about the Mongolian baby with the goat drinking out of his bath. Or the Namibian baby putting her face down in the dirt to lick ground water. And I would take a deep breath and remember babies are actually pretty sturdy little creatures.
5. It will give you a little glimpse...
....into the everyday magic that is all around you. Nothing is mundane to a baby -- watch the wonder these babies have for everything they discover around them. Think about the new wonderful and wonder-filled world that's about to open up for you through the eyes of your little girl.
So here are my top five reasons you should think about finding a copy and watching it before your baby joins you. And if you've already seen it, watch it again now that you're pregnant.
1. Babies are adorable....
.....and hilarious. Sit back and be entertained by all the things these babies get into. Laugh, and enjoy thinking about how cute your own baby will be.
2. It will remind you how much stuff we have...
....that makes our lives as moms here in Canada so comfortable. Heat. Electricity. Running water. Health care. Cars. You will be reminded of how thankful we should be for all of our everyday conveniences.
3. It will remind you how much stuff we have...
.....that makes our lives as moms way more complicated than they need to be. Raising a baby is such big business here. We're constantly surrounded by companies telling us we absolutely need their product to raise happy, healthy, smart babies. Watch the mother and baby in Namibia -- they seem to be doing just fine without Baby Einstein or a wipes warmer. Or diapers...(but that's another post).
4. It will show you how incredibly resilient babies are....
.....and how we can be a little less worried about everything. When Jack started playing on the floor, I would worry about what kind of germs he was crawling through and sucking on. But as I would start to get worked up, I would think about the Mongolian baby with the goat drinking out of his bath. Or the Namibian baby putting her face down in the dirt to lick ground water. And I would take a deep breath and remember babies are actually pretty sturdy little creatures.
5. It will give you a little glimpse...
....into the everyday magic that is all around you. Nothing is mundane to a baby -- watch the wonder these babies have for everything they discover around them. Think about the new wonderful and wonder-filled world that's about to open up for you through the eyes of your little girl.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Thankful
Some days, between the lack of sleep, the food on the floor, the endless laundry and meal prep, I can lose sight of how lucky I am. But I know I have so much to be thankful for. Of course I'm thankful for all the amazing things I have been blessed with: my family, my family of incredible friends, health, happiness. But sometimes as a mom, it's about being thankful for the small, everyday things.
So, in the spirit of the season, I'm thankful for
Balls and balloons, that keep my son occupied for hours everyday.
My stroller, that gives me a bit of peace when I need it most.
French toast, a non-messy meal Jack would eat every day of his life if I let him.
Spookie, the one thing that can always make Jack smile, no matter how sad he is.
Naps, bath time, and bedtime.
Snuggling
And, on the very rare occasions these happen, I'm incredibly thankful for
Enjoying a quiet drink at Starbucks.
Going out with Jahn, just the two of us.
Any stretch of sleep longer than 3 hours.
Going to the bathroom. All alone.
So, in the spirit of the season, I'm thankful for
Balls and balloons, that keep my son occupied for hours everyday.
My stroller, that gives me a bit of peace when I need it most.
French toast, a non-messy meal Jack would eat every day of his life if I let him.
Spookie, the one thing that can always make Jack smile, no matter how sad he is.
Naps, bath time, and bedtime.
Snuggling
And, on the very rare occasions these happen, I'm incredibly thankful for
Enjoying a quiet drink at Starbucks.
Going out with Jahn, just the two of us.
Any stretch of sleep longer than 3 hours.
Going to the bathroom. All alone.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
What's In A Name?
Have people started asking you about names yet? I feel like as soon as people know the gender of a baby, the name game starts. And then, of course, it continues until the day the baby is born. Choosing your baby's name feels like a really big deal. I mean, it IS a really big deal. But for me, it became almost an obsession -- any time I wasn't thinking about anything in particular, I was thinking about what my baby's name would be. I think the decision feels so important not only because the baby will have the name forever, but because choosing a name is just about the only thing you have control over.
So here are a couple of my thoughts about naming (both from a mom and teacher perspective). Please feel free to ignore any or all of this.
Don't ask, don't tell
Everyone loves to give opinions about names. EVERYONE. If you have a name you like, guard it with your life. Ok, that's a bit dramatic, but in all seriousness, if you are set on something, sharing it ahead of time makes people think their opinions are welcome. "You like that name? Oh..... That was my cousin's ex-girlfriend's name, and she was a bitch ". Even if you think you want people's true opinion, be careful, because they won't hold back and will tell you EXACTLY what they think of the name. Except for me, of course. I would tell you it's the best name I've ever heard.
Popularity Contest
When my brother named my nephew Finnlee, the name seemed pretty unusual. Since then though, I hear little guys being called Finn all over the place. How could they have guessed they would be at the beginning of a naming trend? A lot of people try to avoid picking popular names, but I don't think it's worth spending too much time worrying about, because you just never know what will be popular. If you love a name, it doesn't matter who else might have the same one.
It's good, but is it perfect?
I had chosen baby names long before Jack was born (ok, actually long before he was ever conceived...). Then when I found out he was a boy, the name I had been thinking about for all that time suddenly belonged to a real person. And then I wasn't sure. I still loved the name, but was it perfect for him? So because I wasn't sure, I spent months trying out different names, worried that an even better name was out there somewhere. Finally, I thought about advice I heard about wedding dresses once: When you find the right thing, be happy and don't keep worrying there's something better out there, because you'll drive yourself crazy. That being said, we decided not to choose a middle name until Jack was here, so we could still play a little bit more of the name game....
Whatever you choose, and whether or not you tell anyone ahead of time, just find a name you love and it will be perfect.
So here are a couple of my thoughts about naming (both from a mom and teacher perspective). Please feel free to ignore any or all of this.
Don't ask, don't tell
Everyone loves to give opinions about names. EVERYONE. If you have a name you like, guard it with your life. Ok, that's a bit dramatic, but in all seriousness, if you are set on something, sharing it ahead of time makes people think their opinions are welcome. "You like that name? Oh..... That was my cousin's ex-girlfriend's name, and she was a bitch ". Even if you think you want people's true opinion, be careful, because they won't hold back and will tell you EXACTLY what they think of the name. Except for me, of course. I would tell you it's the best name I've ever heard.
Popularity Contest
When my brother named my nephew Finnlee, the name seemed pretty unusual. Since then though, I hear little guys being called Finn all over the place. How could they have guessed they would be at the beginning of a naming trend? A lot of people try to avoid picking popular names, but I don't think it's worth spending too much time worrying about, because you just never know what will be popular. If you love a name, it doesn't matter who else might have the same one.
It's good, but is it perfect?
I had chosen baby names long before Jack was born (ok, actually long before he was ever conceived...). Then when I found out he was a boy, the name I had been thinking about for all that time suddenly belonged to a real person. And then I wasn't sure. I still loved the name, but was it perfect for him? So because I wasn't sure, I spent months trying out different names, worried that an even better name was out there somewhere. Finally, I thought about advice I heard about wedding dresses once: When you find the right thing, be happy and don't keep worrying there's something better out there, because you'll drive yourself crazy. That being said, we decided not to choose a middle name until Jack was here, so we could still play a little bit more of the name game....
Whatever you choose, and whether or not you tell anyone ahead of time, just find a name you love and it will be perfect.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Do We Really Need.... Part 2
Ok, this week's post was going to be something different, but since you are thinking about creating a registry soon, I thought I would finish off this series of posts instead.
Here are a few more things that are great to have with a little baby (though I didn't use any of these with Jack until he was a month old or more)
A Diaper Genie: actually, I used this right from the beginning, but I forgot to include it in the first post. I thought these were stupid, but someone lent us one and I became a convert. You really can use any kind of pail or garbage, but (if you're using disposable diapers) the Genie is great because it keeps in all the bad smells. The inserts are a bit expensive, but you can get them at Costco, and (at this point) each insert lasts me more than a month.
A playmat (with a mirror): I also used to think these were really unnecessary, but it was the first thing Jack would do on his own. It was such a blessing -- Jack could suddenly amuse himself for a few minutes while I made breakfast, showered, or just went to the bathroom. Amazing.
A bouncy chair: Jack wouldn't sit in it at first, but around two and a half or three months he would sit in his chair for a few minutes. It gave us an alternative to the mat because sometimes he was happier sitting up a bit more. It became a staple at our house -- I put it in the bathroom and sat Jack in it when I showered.
A swing: Especially one that reclines (so baby can be in it when she is really little) and swings side to side. By four months, Jack did well with a back and forth swing, but he preferred a side to side motion when he was smaller.
Cuddle bag: this was the fabulous thing that went in Jack's carseat and kept him cozy all winter. I LOVED it because you're not supposed to put bulky jackets or snowsuits on a baby in their carseat (so the straps are tight enough). I have to admit when I put Jack in the seat and zipped the bag up around him, I was always a little jealous of how comfortable he looked...
Something interesting for baby to look at during diaper changes: Jack had those black horses on the wall that he would just stare at, so changing was never really an issue. At least not until he could roll over.
Board books: Even when he was really little, there were a few books (like The Very Hungry Caterpillar) that Jack liked looking at. And by three months, he seemed to really like being read to and looking at books. (Now, however, I can almost never get him to sit and read with me. Too much to do, obviously).
Until he was about three months, Jack didn't really care about any of his toys, so don't worry too much about having a bunch of toys at first. You'll play with them more than the baby will.
Here are a few more things that are great to have with a little baby (though I didn't use any of these with Jack until he was a month old or more)
A Diaper Genie: actually, I used this right from the beginning, but I forgot to include it in the first post. I thought these were stupid, but someone lent us one and I became a convert. You really can use any kind of pail or garbage, but (if you're using disposable diapers) the Genie is great because it keeps in all the bad smells. The inserts are a bit expensive, but you can get them at Costco, and (at this point) each insert lasts me more than a month.
A playmat (with a mirror): I also used to think these were really unnecessary, but it was the first thing Jack would do on his own. It was such a blessing -- Jack could suddenly amuse himself for a few minutes while I made breakfast, showered, or just went to the bathroom. Amazing.
A bouncy chair: Jack wouldn't sit in it at first, but around two and a half or three months he would sit in his chair for a few minutes. It gave us an alternative to the mat because sometimes he was happier sitting up a bit more. It became a staple at our house -- I put it in the bathroom and sat Jack in it when I showered.
A swing: Especially one that reclines (so baby can be in it when she is really little) and swings side to side. By four months, Jack did well with a back and forth swing, but he preferred a side to side motion when he was smaller.
Cuddle bag: this was the fabulous thing that went in Jack's carseat and kept him cozy all winter. I LOVED it because you're not supposed to put bulky jackets or snowsuits on a baby in their carseat (so the straps are tight enough). I have to admit when I put Jack in the seat and zipped the bag up around him, I was always a little jealous of how comfortable he looked...
Something interesting for baby to look at during diaper changes: Jack had those black horses on the wall that he would just stare at, so changing was never really an issue. At least not until he could roll over.
Board books: Even when he was really little, there were a few books (like The Very Hungry Caterpillar) that Jack liked looking at. And by three months, he seemed to really like being read to and looking at books. (Now, however, I can almost never get him to sit and read with me. Too much to do, obviously).
Until he was about three months, Jack didn't really care about any of his toys, so don't worry too much about having a bunch of toys at first. You'll play with them more than the baby will.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Consignment 101
I know you said you are planning to head to the big consignment sale in Okotoks later this fall. Having just come home from a gong show of a shopping experience at a consignment sale nearby, I've come up with my top six tips to survive the giant Okotoks sale.
1) Fewer people is better: People come in droves to the big sales. And many of them bring their children. I guess they do it because they don't have a choice (or they want to test things out on their kids bell buying?) but it means that the rooms are usually PACKED. It can be a bit overwhelming, so it's nice to have someone with you, but if you bring too many people, it gets really hard to keep track of everyone.
2) Make a list: Big sales draw so many people because there is so. much. stuff. All kinds of stuff. It's easy to get totally overwhelmed and either buy everything you see, or feel like turning around and leaving. Before you go, make a list of a few things you would like to find at the sale. Be honest with yourself about what you don't mind getting secondhand and what you would prefer to have new. It's only worth buying something secondhand if you'll actually use it.
3) Price it out: If there are a couple of bigger items you are looking for (like a swing, stroller, or bassinet), look around online and see what you would pay for a new one. Sometimes consignment is a great deal, sometimes not so much. Sometimes the price difference is small enough that you might be happier buying something new and picking exactly what you wanted.
4) Bring reusable bags: If you are looking for smaller items (clothes, books, baby toys), your hands can get full quickly. A few reusable bags help a lot.
5) Arrive early: These sales are like regular garage sales -- people get there really early. You'll have the most choice right at the beginning. If you just want to go to look around, then you can skip the early part and go later when it might be a bit quieter.
6) Remember it's your first: People love to buy gifts for babies (especially first babies) and lots of people will want to give you useful things. They'll want to see a registry. So don't bother buying yourself too much too soon. Because really, isn't it more fun to get gifts than spend your own money?
1) Fewer people is better: People come in droves to the big sales. And many of them bring their children. I guess they do it because they don't have a choice (or they want to test things out on their kids bell buying?) but it means that the rooms are usually PACKED. It can be a bit overwhelming, so it's nice to have someone with you, but if you bring too many people, it gets really hard to keep track of everyone.
2) Make a list: Big sales draw so many people because there is so. much. stuff. All kinds of stuff. It's easy to get totally overwhelmed and either buy everything you see, or feel like turning around and leaving. Before you go, make a list of a few things you would like to find at the sale. Be honest with yourself about what you don't mind getting secondhand and what you would prefer to have new. It's only worth buying something secondhand if you'll actually use it.
3) Price it out: If there are a couple of bigger items you are looking for (like a swing, stroller, or bassinet), look around online and see what you would pay for a new one. Sometimes consignment is a great deal, sometimes not so much. Sometimes the price difference is small enough that you might be happier buying something new and picking exactly what you wanted.
4) Bring reusable bags: If you are looking for smaller items (clothes, books, baby toys), your hands can get full quickly. A few reusable bags help a lot.
5) Arrive early: These sales are like regular garage sales -- people get there really early. You'll have the most choice right at the beginning. If you just want to go to look around, then you can skip the early part and go later when it might be a bit quieter.
6) Remember it's your first: People love to buy gifts for babies (especially first babies) and lots of people will want to give you useful things. They'll want to see a registry. So don't bother buying yourself too much too soon. Because really, isn't it more fun to get gifts than spend your own money?
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Is This Your First?
I would be standing in line at the grocery store. Or waiting for an elevator. Or buying lunch. It would happen.
A stranger (who would be pointedly staring at my belly) would ask, "When are you due?" That question would be followed in quick succession by several others. Almost always the same questions, in the same order.
"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"
And always
"Is this your first?"
That one always stopped me. What would make them ask that, I wondered. Why did that seem like such an important question to everyone?
A few days ago, I saw a woman standing in a line, rubbing her belly. I smiled at her. "When are you due?" I asked.
"Do you know what you're having?"
And then, it almost slipped out: "Is this your first?"
Surprised, I stopped myself before I said it. But suddenly, I understood. I knew why all those people had asked me.
I think I used to be a little put off by the question because I felt like I was being judged by people who thought they were way more experienced parents and knew way more than me. I felt like they looked at me like I didn't have a clue what was coming. But that's not really what it is.
Those people actually did know more than me, and I actually didn't have a clue what was coming. But they weren't asking because they wanted to point out how naive I was. Now I think they were asking because, when it's your first, everyone wants to be the person to throw you the lifeline. Other parents think back on those early days of parenthood (though they can be hard to remember through the fog) and grasp desperately to give you the one piece of advice that might save you. That might dry your tears at two in the morning. That might calm your fears that you're not doing a good enough job. But in that brief moment in the grocery store, or the elevator, or in line, they can't. The experience of being a parent is too big, the words, too small.
So they ask if it's your first. They smile a warm, knowing smile. They wish they could offer more, but they can't really. They know you'll figure it out.
And then one day, not that far down the road, you'll see the pregnant stranger. You'll wonder if she's already a parent and if she knows what awaits her. Because (by then) you'll know. You'll want to say something helpful. Something supportive and encouraging. But you have to start somewhere.
"Is it your first?"
A stranger (who would be pointedly staring at my belly) would ask, "When are you due?" That question would be followed in quick succession by several others. Almost always the same questions, in the same order.
"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"
And always
"Is this your first?"
That one always stopped me. What would make them ask that, I wondered. Why did that seem like such an important question to everyone?
A few days ago, I saw a woman standing in a line, rubbing her belly. I smiled at her. "When are you due?" I asked.
"Do you know what you're having?"
And then, it almost slipped out: "Is this your first?"
Surprised, I stopped myself before I said it. But suddenly, I understood. I knew why all those people had asked me.
I think I used to be a little put off by the question because I felt like I was being judged by people who thought they were way more experienced parents and knew way more than me. I felt like they looked at me like I didn't have a clue what was coming. But that's not really what it is.
Those people actually did know more than me, and I actually didn't have a clue what was coming. But they weren't asking because they wanted to point out how naive I was. Now I think they were asking because, when it's your first, everyone wants to be the person to throw you the lifeline. Other parents think back on those early days of parenthood (though they can be hard to remember through the fog) and grasp desperately to give you the one piece of advice that might save you. That might dry your tears at two in the morning. That might calm your fears that you're not doing a good enough job. But in that brief moment in the grocery store, or the elevator, or in line, they can't. The experience of being a parent is too big, the words, too small.
So they ask if it's your first. They smile a warm, knowing smile. They wish they could offer more, but they can't really. They know you'll figure it out.
And then one day, not that far down the road, you'll see the pregnant stranger. You'll wonder if she's already a parent and if she knows what awaits her. Because (by then) you'll know. You'll want to say something helpful. Something supportive and encouraging. But you have to start somewhere.
"Is it your first?"
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Lifeline
I went to high school with a girl who is also named Caitlin. I met her when I worked on a show she was acting in, but she graduated the year I started high school, so I didn't know her very well.
Flash forward more than 10 years. We had both moved to Calgary, where we were both teachers (she teaches high school drama). Her husband is a director who has worked at ATP. We connected a couple of times at parties or openings, but that was it. By the time we moved back to Ottawa, I hadn't seen her in at least a year, maybe more.
But a funny thing happened. We were both part of the same Facebook group for new moms in Calgary, because, by chance, she had a baby girl about three weeks after I had Jack. And through the magic of the internet, we connected over the fact neither of our babies slept. We started emailing back and forth when the babies were four or five months old.
That was more than seven months ago, but Caitlin and I still send emails every couple of days. Even though we never managed to get together with our babies before we moved, I would still count her as one of the people I know I can tell almost anything to. Because I know she understands. Because I know she won't judge. Until we connected, I felt like everyone had a baby who slept perfectly. Like everyone else was getting to love every minute of being a new mom while I struggled through my days as a sleep-deprived zombie. But when I found someone whose baby wasn't a perfect sleeper, someone who was as obsessed with sleep as I was, someone who was honest about hard days (and nights), I felt as though a huge weight was lifted because it wasn't just me anymore.
Finding other parents to connect with is really nice when you have a baby. They are people who understand what your days are like and don't mind that you have nothing interesting to say about ... well... anything much. They don't comment on your wrinkled clothes, messy house, or lack of makeup. But for me, finding another parent who was (and, right now, still is) dealing with the same issues as me hasn't just been nice. It's been a life saver.
When I heard about all of your friends who will have new babies around the time of yours, I was so happy for you. Being a mom is amazing, but like I've said before, it can be an incredibly tough job, so I'm so glad for you that when you need a lifeline (in the form of another mom) you'll have people nearby. And of course, I will always be another parent you can talk to anytime you need. Especially since, chances are, I won't be sleeping anyway.
But a funny thing happened. We were both part of the same Facebook group for new moms in Calgary, because, by chance, she had a baby girl about three weeks after I had Jack. And through the magic of the internet, we connected over the fact neither of our babies slept. We started emailing back and forth when the babies were four or five months old.
That was more than seven months ago, but Caitlin and I still send emails every couple of days. Even though we never managed to get together with our babies before we moved, I would still count her as one of the people I know I can tell almost anything to. Because I know she understands. Because I know she won't judge. Until we connected, I felt like everyone had a baby who slept perfectly. Like everyone else was getting to love every minute of being a new mom while I struggled through my days as a sleep-deprived zombie. But when I found someone whose baby wasn't a perfect sleeper, someone who was as obsessed with sleep as I was, someone who was honest about hard days (and nights), I felt as though a huge weight was lifted because it wasn't just me anymore.
Finding other parents to connect with is really nice when you have a baby. They are people who understand what your days are like and don't mind that you have nothing interesting to say about ... well... anything much. They don't comment on your wrinkled clothes, messy house, or lack of makeup. But for me, finding another parent who was (and, right now, still is) dealing with the same issues as me hasn't just been nice. It's been a life saver.
When I heard about all of your friends who will have new babies around the time of yours, I was so happy for you. Being a mom is amazing, but like I've said before, it can be an incredibly tough job, so I'm so glad for you that when you need a lifeline (in the form of another mom) you'll have people nearby. And of course, I will always be another parent you can talk to anytime you need. Especially since, chances are, I won't be sleeping anyway.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Labour of Love
Sorry - this post is a bit of a sidestep, but it's something that's been on my mind in the last little while.
When I was pregnant, I didn't think about labour too much. I felt like I was standing at the top of a really intense waterslide that I couldn't back out of and even though the idea of going through labour was scary, I knew there wasn't much point freaking out about it. I had no idea how it would go, and spending a lot of time and energy being worried still wouldn't change the fact I had pretty much no control over how and when it would happen.
I don't remember how much detail I gave you about Jack's birth. I don't plan to be one of those women who adds to your worry about labour by giving you all the details of mine. If you want them at some point, though, I'm happy to share. Anyway, all the details aren't necessary for this.
A few days ago, I was reading this article, where a celebrity blogged about her newest baby's all-natural birth. I'm not sure why I read it -- it's not like I even know who this woman is or why she's famous (I think maybe she's a model?). She describes giving birth at home (outside), surrounded by family and her midwives. Even though I should just be able to read about her experience and stay neutral, I can't help but feel defensive and a little offended. It's not the first time I've felt this way reading about someone else's labour and delivery.
Here's one of the things she said that got to me the most:
"I understand that this birth choice [home birth] isn't for everyone, but I believe in trusting my body to do what women have been doing for thousands of years. Childbirth isn't scary. It's a natural and powerful wonder."
I often hear this argument in favour of natural childbirth. I get it and I understand that perspective, but it still makes me mad (and a little sad, too). The problem is that I feel like she's saying any other kind of labour and delivery is somehow a cop out. Yes, women have been delivering babies for thousand of years. But you know what? A lot of them used to die and so did their babies. If the circumstances around Jack's birth had been different, I could have been one of those women. He definitely could have been one of those babies. The woman who wrote the article was lucky that everything went the way she planned. That isn't always the case, and I have to remind myself that my experience of giving birth doesn't make me weaker than her in any way.
I didn't have a home birth. I didn't just get to "trust my body" since my water broke and then nothing happened. I had to be induced, which I hated. I laboured in a hospital instead of under a tree. And despite being natural and powerful, yes, labour is scary. Who wouldn't be even a little scared knowing (even sort of) what their body was about to be put through?
But, in the end, my baby was born healthy. And beautiful. And I could not have been more in love.
So what's my point in all this....
I guess what I am trying to say (even though it's still a few months away for you) is that I hope you are able to have a thicker skin than I do. When the time comes, make the birthing choices that feel right to you and don't let anyone else's idea of a perfect birth get in your way. No matter what you picture or how much you plan, things will happen in their own way, and in the end all you will care about is holding that baby in your arms.
That celebrity isn't totally wrong, though. Birth is a powerful wonder. However it happens.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Do We Really Need A...
Ok, so I know it seems a bit early for this, but I also know you love to shop (or at least window shop, browse, and plan). I've got a couple installments of this kind of post, but here is the first one (for those very, very early days with a newborn).
There is so much stuff out the for babies. And it's all so cute! So what do you buy? One of the things I found really helpful was having someone to talk to about what's actually useful with a new baby and what's really just more stuff. Here's a few of my top picks for the newborn days:
A baby carrier: I have my wrap, and it's been invaluable to me. There are so many options out there, it's hard to know what to pick. Just find one you like and that lets you use both your hands when the baby is in it. When Jack was brand new (and even now) it was the one thing that could always settle him down. Plus, being able to wear Jack made it easier to accomplish things that had to get done at home.
Burp pads: As a newborn, Jack didn't spit up much. But when it came time to nurse him, I always had at least one (but often 2 or 3) burp pads near by. They were super useful for when he would let milk dribble down his cheek (and onto me) and to catch excess milk in general. In the first weeks (or maybe months...) I would also usually tuck one in my bra on the side he wasn't nursing on. Helped with leakage.
Little cloths: a new baby's skin is so sensitive, I was a bit worried about using wipes on him. Instead, we had lots (lots and lots and lots) of really thin little cloths we used to wash him when changing his diaper.
A place to put the baby down: ok, so you know that this didn't really happen much with my baby when he was really tiny, but the times I could put him down, I was really glad to have somewhere to put him. Whether it's a swing, a little bouncy chair, or a bassinet, it's good to have somewhere safe (and somewhat portable) to put the baby. Even if the baby only lets you put it down for five minutes every couple of days (like a certain boy I know...)
Pacifiers: If you don't choose to use them, that's totally fine and up to you. I don't think I gave one to Jack until he was a couple of weeks old, but it's been an ongoing love affair since then. I always figured I preferred to give him a soother instead of having him suck his thumb, since I can throw a soother away when the time comes. I think I gave you a couple we got as a gift that Jack would absolutely NOT use. The ones he loves are made by Nuk. For me, giving Jack a pacifier felt like giving him a coping strategy -- you could literally watch his stress melt away, and it was so helpful to have something that could calm him so quickly.
A stroller: especially one you can put the car seat in. Ok, so again this wasn't actually useful at my house until later, since Jack hated being in his car seat in the stroller (see: baby carrier). BUT if you have a baby who will let you stroller him/her around, it's wonderful. Especially with a baby born in the winter -- it's nice to be able to go on little outings just to get out of the house.
Lots of diapers: don't worry -- the baby won't always go through as many diapers as it does in the first few weeks. Newborns seem to have the uncanny ability to wait to poop until you've put them in a clean diaper. Ridiculous. You go through lots of diapers in the early days, but it gets better after that.
Onesies: I know this one seems obvious, but I thought I would include it anyway. The books always say the baby needs to wear a onesie and then pyjamas. I thought that was crazy, but it turns out it's for real (newborns can't make their own body heat. True story.). My favourite ones were from Carter's. They were kind of skinny, so they were nice and close to Jack's skin and didn't bunch up under his pyjamas.
So there's a first list. You really don't need that much to get started (the baby would most likely be happy to just to spend all day cuddled up against your skin inside your bathrobe). But I know I felt a bit lost trying to decide what we needed -- how do you plan for something you've never done before? Hopefully this helps a bit!
There is so much stuff out the for babies. And it's all so cute! So what do you buy? One of the things I found really helpful was having someone to talk to about what's actually useful with a new baby and what's really just more stuff. Here's a few of my top picks for the newborn days:
A baby carrier: I have my wrap, and it's been invaluable to me. There are so many options out there, it's hard to know what to pick. Just find one you like and that lets you use both your hands when the baby is in it. When Jack was brand new (and even now) it was the one thing that could always settle him down. Plus, being able to wear Jack made it easier to accomplish things that had to get done at home.
Burp pads: As a newborn, Jack didn't spit up much. But when it came time to nurse him, I always had at least one (but often 2 or 3) burp pads near by. They were super useful for when he would let milk dribble down his cheek (and onto me) and to catch excess milk in general. In the first weeks (or maybe months...) I would also usually tuck one in my bra on the side he wasn't nursing on. Helped with leakage.
Little cloths: a new baby's skin is so sensitive, I was a bit worried about using wipes on him. Instead, we had lots (lots and lots and lots) of really thin little cloths we used to wash him when changing his diaper.
A place to put the baby down: ok, so you know that this didn't really happen much with my baby when he was really tiny, but the times I could put him down, I was really glad to have somewhere to put him. Whether it's a swing, a little bouncy chair, or a bassinet, it's good to have somewhere safe (and somewhat portable) to put the baby. Even if the baby only lets you put it down for five minutes every couple of days (like a certain boy I know...)
Pacifiers: If you don't choose to use them, that's totally fine and up to you. I don't think I gave one to Jack until he was a couple of weeks old, but it's been an ongoing love affair since then. I always figured I preferred to give him a soother instead of having him suck his thumb, since I can throw a soother away when the time comes. I think I gave you a couple we got as a gift that Jack would absolutely NOT use. The ones he loves are made by Nuk. For me, giving Jack a pacifier felt like giving him a coping strategy -- you could literally watch his stress melt away, and it was so helpful to have something that could calm him so quickly.
A stroller: especially one you can put the car seat in. Ok, so again this wasn't actually useful at my house until later, since Jack hated being in his car seat in the stroller (see: baby carrier). BUT if you have a baby who will let you stroller him/her around, it's wonderful. Especially with a baby born in the winter -- it's nice to be able to go on little outings just to get out of the house.
Lots of diapers: don't worry -- the baby won't always go through as many diapers as it does in the first few weeks. Newborns seem to have the uncanny ability to wait to poop until you've put them in a clean diaper. Ridiculous. You go through lots of diapers in the early days, but it gets better after that.
Onesies: I know this one seems obvious, but I thought I would include it anyway. The books always say the baby needs to wear a onesie and then pyjamas. I thought that was crazy, but it turns out it's for real (newborns can't make their own body heat. True story.). My favourite ones were from Carter's. They were kind of skinny, so they were nice and close to Jack's skin and didn't bunch up under his pyjamas.
So there's a first list. You really don't need that much to get started (the baby would most likely be happy to just to spend all day cuddled up against your skin inside your bathrobe). But I know I felt a bit lost trying to decide what we needed -- how do you plan for something you've never done before? Hopefully this helps a bit!
Friday, August 3, 2012
Pregnancy: I'm Glad I...
While there are, of course, things I wish I had done when I was pregnant, there are also a few things I'm so glad I did do:
Bought a maternity bathing suit. I wore a regular one for a while, then (when it clearly wasn't going to cut it anymore) splurged on a mat suit. Ok, I might still have looked funny, with my bowling ball belly and relative chicken legs, but it didn't matter. Swimming felt great, so whatever I spent on the bathing suit was worth it.
Got a wedge. Remember my little triangle shaped pillow? I wedged it under my belly when I slept and it made a world of difference. It also wasn't as big as those giant body pillows, so it wasn't like having an extra person in bed.
Read as much as I could. And I don't mean reading about pregnancy or parenting. I mean reading for fun. I know you're like me and love to read. I don't know when I'll next have the chance to read for as long as I want without interruptions, so enjoy it.
Stayed active. I found it hard when I felt sick (which made me feel a bit guilty) but it felt so good once I was feeling better. I think staying active helped me feel good right until Jack was born. Walking and swimming were some of my favorites, but I was willing to try most things (though I never pushed it too hard).
Travelled. Even if we didn't go that far, we did try to get away as many times as we could. We visited home, danced at a wedding, hiked and kayaked in Jasper, canoed in Waterton, floated in Nelson, and listened to jazz on the beach in Kaslo. I know I will have wonderful memories of trips we take as a family of 3 (and more), but I'm so glad we'll also have so many memories of the last time it would ever be just the two of us.
Did my best not to worry too much. It's hard -- everything is new and unknown, but I reminded myself that no amount of worry was going to make sure my baby was healthy. Instead, I did my best to enjoy pregnancy and have faith everything would work out.
Admired. Right now, if I take my eyes off Jack for even 10 seconds, it's a disaster. No joke. I know he will get more independent and steadier (and maybe less terrifying?), but I know the next time I'm pregnant, a lot of my energy will still be devoted to my monkey of a boy. So I feel so lucky I was able to spend as much time as I did admiring the miracle that pregnancy is. I took notice every time he moved. I rubbed my belly. I sat, staring in wonder, many many times.
Bought a maternity bathing suit. I wore a regular one for a while, then (when it clearly wasn't going to cut it anymore) splurged on a mat suit. Ok, I might still have looked funny, with my bowling ball belly and relative chicken legs, but it didn't matter. Swimming felt great, so whatever I spent on the bathing suit was worth it.
Got a wedge. Remember my little triangle shaped pillow? I wedged it under my belly when I slept and it made a world of difference. It also wasn't as big as those giant body pillows, so it wasn't like having an extra person in bed.
Read as much as I could. And I don't mean reading about pregnancy or parenting. I mean reading for fun. I know you're like me and love to read. I don't know when I'll next have the chance to read for as long as I want without interruptions, so enjoy it.
Stayed active. I found it hard when I felt sick (which made me feel a bit guilty) but it felt so good once I was feeling better. I think staying active helped me feel good right until Jack was born. Walking and swimming were some of my favorites, but I was willing to try most things (though I never pushed it too hard).
Travelled. Even if we didn't go that far, we did try to get away as many times as we could. We visited home, danced at a wedding, hiked and kayaked in Jasper, canoed in Waterton, floated in Nelson, and listened to jazz on the beach in Kaslo. I know I will have wonderful memories of trips we take as a family of 3 (and more), but I'm so glad we'll also have so many memories of the last time it would ever be just the two of us.
Did my best not to worry too much. It's hard -- everything is new and unknown, but I reminded myself that no amount of worry was going to make sure my baby was healthy. Instead, I did my best to enjoy pregnancy and have faith everything would work out.
Admired. Right now, if I take my eyes off Jack for even 10 seconds, it's a disaster. No joke. I know he will get more independent and steadier (and maybe less terrifying?), but I know the next time I'm pregnant, a lot of my energy will still be devoted to my monkey of a boy. So I feel so lucky I was able to spend as much time as I did admiring the miracle that pregnancy is. I took notice every time he moved. I rubbed my belly. I sat, staring in wonder, many many times.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Pregnancy: I Wish I...
I was thinking about your week off today and how nice it was for you to have some time where you got to do exactly what you wanted to. Time to yourself feels a lot more decadent after having a baby, but it doesn't happen often, and there's always someone you need to get back to.
So on the note of enjoying yourself, here is a list of a few things I wish I had done (or done more of) while I was pregnant:
Taken more naps: if you asked Jahn, he'll probably tell you I napped plenty. Maybe it's just because I'm tired now, but if I had the chance right now, I would go back and nap at every opportunity I had.
Stayed up late and slept in on weekends: I didn't really realize that once Jack was born, there wouldn't be much of a difference between week days and weekends (except of course that Jahn was home, which was amazing). I really missed the weekends feeling special (and for me, one of the things that set weekends apart was knowing I could stay up late and then lounge in bed the next morning). Staying up late isn't much fun anymore. And sleeping in? Maybe one day...
Been spontaneous: at least a little. Now, leaving the house takes a lot of planning and gathering stuff. I wish I had made a few more last minute plans and enjoyed knowing I could leave the house in a moment's notice, with only my purse and keys.
Taken more pictures: this will sound crazy, but within hours of Jack being born, I couldn't really remember what it felt like to be pregnant. And not that long later, it was hard to picture what I had looked like with that big belly. We certainly have some, but I wish I had more pictures of that belly. Because as weird as it sounds, I totally miss it.
Recorded the baby moving: when you get to the point in your pregnancy that you can actually see it when the baby moves, it's both completely amazing and a little freaky. In the evenings, when the baby moved the most, I would just sit and watch the show. Now I wish I had even a short video to be able to show Jack one day.
So on the note of enjoying yourself, here is a list of a few things I wish I had done (or done more of) while I was pregnant:
Taken more naps: if you asked Jahn, he'll probably tell you I napped plenty. Maybe it's just because I'm tired now, but if I had the chance right now, I would go back and nap at every opportunity I had.
Stayed up late and slept in on weekends: I didn't really realize that once Jack was born, there wouldn't be much of a difference between week days and weekends (except of course that Jahn was home, which was amazing). I really missed the weekends feeling special (and for me, one of the things that set weekends apart was knowing I could stay up late and then lounge in bed the next morning). Staying up late isn't much fun anymore. And sleeping in? Maybe one day...
Been spontaneous: at least a little. Now, leaving the house takes a lot of planning and gathering stuff. I wish I had made a few more last minute plans and enjoyed knowing I could leave the house in a moment's notice, with only my purse and keys.
Taken more pictures: this will sound crazy, but within hours of Jack being born, I couldn't really remember what it felt like to be pregnant. And not that long later, it was hard to picture what I had looked like with that big belly. We certainly have some, but I wish I had more pictures of that belly. Because as weird as it sounds, I totally miss it.
Recorded the baby moving: when you get to the point in your pregnancy that you can actually see it when the baby moves, it's both completely amazing and a little freaky. In the evenings, when the baby moved the most, I would just sit and watch the show. Now I wish I had even a short video to be able to show Jack one day.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
A Moment
I was in Carter's today looking for a new pyjama for Jack. As I tried to pick only one, something caught my eye. It was a set of clothes that had two pieces: a onesie and a pair of coordinating pants. The front of the onesie said "dad's little man" or something like that.
It wasn't so much the actual clothes that stuck out to me. What made me notice them was that the tag said NB -- newborn size. I held them up. They were so tiny -- a world away from the 12 month robot pyjamas and striped t-shirt I was holding -- and I was struck by a feeling. It was the feeling I had the first time I went into Carter's a few weeks before Jack was born. I remembered it so clearly -- the mixture of excitement and nervousness, anticipation and joy. Love. Pure happiness.
And though it feels so far away, I remembered those outfits. The impossibly small ones that I stared at for so long and then finally got to put on someone. I remembered the feeling of dressing a newborn, the way they stay all curled up, the way you can picture what they must have looked like in your belly. I remembered the feeling, too, of having a newborn. How completely indescribable those early days are.
And then I thought of you. I imagined you putting your brand new baby in one of these tiny little outfits. I imagined you sitting and staring and this tiny, perfect being you created. I thought about how special those calm, quiet moments are; how you can sit there, just staring, for hours. How completly overwhelming the love is.
Being a parent is hard. It's exhausting and scary and frustrating and unrelenting. But it's so, so beautiful, too. There are so many cliches about it: how you'll never love anyone more, how quickly time moves, how it's a miracle. The thing is, they're all true. And I can't wait for you to get to have that experience. It's so much more than you've ever imagined.
It wasn't so much the actual clothes that stuck out to me. What made me notice them was that the tag said NB -- newborn size. I held them up. They were so tiny -- a world away from the 12 month robot pyjamas and striped t-shirt I was holding -- and I was struck by a feeling. It was the feeling I had the first time I went into Carter's a few weeks before Jack was born. I remembered it so clearly -- the mixture of excitement and nervousness, anticipation and joy. Love. Pure happiness.
And though it feels so far away, I remembered those outfits. The impossibly small ones that I stared at for so long and then finally got to put on someone. I remembered the feeling of dressing a newborn, the way they stay all curled up, the way you can picture what they must have looked like in your belly. I remembered the feeling, too, of having a newborn. How completely indescribable those early days are.
And then I thought of you. I imagined you putting your brand new baby in one of these tiny little outfits. I imagined you sitting and staring and this tiny, perfect being you created. I thought about how special those calm, quiet moments are; how you can sit there, just staring, for hours. How completly overwhelming the love is.
Being a parent is hard. It's exhausting and scary and frustrating and unrelenting. But it's so, so beautiful, too. There are so many cliches about it: how you'll never love anyone more, how quickly time moves, how it's a miracle. The thing is, they're all true. And I can't wait for you to get to have that experience. It's so much more than you've ever imagined.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
An Open Letter
To my first-trimester self,
Remember when you were so excited to be pregnant? When those two little lines appeared, it was as though they marked the end of one kind life and the beginning of another. Remember all the beautiful things about being pregnant you couldn't wait for? I know they are hard to keep in sight, now that all your days are filled with exhaustion and nausea. The beauty of creating life seems so much less glamorous than you had hoped. Remember that person who said "pregnancy glow" was actually just sweat from throwing up? I know that feels a lot closer to the truth.
I know how you feel -- you wanted to be pregnant so badly. You feel so lucky that it happened so easily when for others, it doesn't. And yet you spend your days sad you're not enjoying it. That it's not the experience you were hoping for.
So I wanted to tell you it's ok. All those bad things will go away and pregnancy will be fun. The exhaustion will lift, the nausea will disappear and you will love having that belly every bit as much as you hoped. And even though other discomforts will come and go, something amazing will happen: you will start to feel that little being inside you moving around, and you will start to imagine him or her joining your life.
So don't feel bad if you're not having fun right now or if it's hard to remember why you ever thought this was a good idea. It gets so, so much better.
Sincerely, Your 36 week self.
Remember when you were so excited to be pregnant? When those two little lines appeared, it was as though they marked the end of one kind life and the beginning of another. Remember all the beautiful things about being pregnant you couldn't wait for? I know they are hard to keep in sight, now that all your days are filled with exhaustion and nausea. The beauty of creating life seems so much less glamorous than you had hoped. Remember that person who said "pregnancy glow" was actually just sweat from throwing up? I know that feels a lot closer to the truth.
I know how you feel -- you wanted to be pregnant so badly. You feel so lucky that it happened so easily when for others, it doesn't. And yet you spend your days sad you're not enjoying it. That it's not the experience you were hoping for.
So I wanted to tell you it's ok. All those bad things will go away and pregnancy will be fun. The exhaustion will lift, the nausea will disappear and you will love having that belly every bit as much as you hoped. And even though other discomforts will come and go, something amazing will happen: you will start to feel that little being inside you moving around, and you will start to imagine him or her joining your life.
So don't feel bad if you're not having fun right now or if it's hard to remember why you ever thought this was a good idea. It gets so, so much better.
Sincerely, Your 36 week self.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
How Could I Have Known...
That in my first trimester, I would feel sleepier than I ever had before, even after a full night's sleep and a nap?
How gross it would feel to be nauseous all day, everyday for the first 20 weeks?
That, unlike with the stomach flu, I could throw up part way through a meal and then go right back and finish what I was eating?
That at first, it would freak me out to feel the hard little bump where my baby was growing?
That I would gasp (very loudly) the first time I felt the baby move?
That I would be SHOCKED to find out he was a boy?
How completely and utterly invested in my pregnancy and baby my students would be, or that their excitement would feel so magical?
How much I would love rubbing my belly and how sad I would feel when it was gone?
How much induced labour would hurt,
Or that, within a couple of hours, I could no longer remember quite what the pain had felt like and within a few weeks I would start to think "it can't really have been that bad..."
That something that started out the size of a poppy seed could grow big enough to be the centre of my universe and increase the size of my heart by about a thousand percent?
How gross it would feel to be nauseous all day, everyday for the first 20 weeks?
That, unlike with the stomach flu, I could throw up part way through a meal and then go right back and finish what I was eating?
That at first, it would freak me out to feel the hard little bump where my baby was growing?
That I would gasp (very loudly) the first time I felt the baby move?
That I would be SHOCKED to find out he was a boy?
How completely and utterly invested in my pregnancy and baby my students would be, or that their excitement would feel so magical?
How much I would love rubbing my belly and how sad I would feel when it was gone?
How much induced labour would hurt,
Or that, within a couple of hours, I could no longer remember quite what the pain had felt like and within a few weeks I would start to think "it can't really have been that bad..."
That something that started out the size of a poppy seed could grow big enough to be the centre of my universe and increase the size of my heart by about a thousand percent?
Monday, March 26, 2012
Morning Sickness
For a long time, I looked forward to being pregnant. I couldn't wait to have that big round belly, or to feel a little person moving inside me. But I was also worried about morning sickness (which, by the way, is now called NVP -- Nausea and Vomiting during Pregnancy, since doctors now realize it's not over in the morning!). I hate to throw up (no kidding - I have anxiety about vomit) and once I became a teacher, I couldn't imagine doing my job feeling nauseous.
Have you ever heard that saying "what I fear, I create"? I thought about that saying a lot in my first 20 weeks. . .
I was nauseous all day, almost everyday, from the end of January until late April. It was not good. I hope that you continue to feel really good. But if you don't, I know how you feel. If you need them, here are some things that helped me. Otherwise, these are just reminders for me for the next time around:
-I kept food (usually dry cereal or almonds) next to my bed so I could eat in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning before I moved.
-Gingerale became my new best friend.
-Hunger was my enemy. When I got hungry, I felt sick, so I snacked constantly.
-I chewed gum a lot of the time, especially after lunch. I had to do it surreptitiously so my students wouldn't call me out on it, but it made a big difference.
-I ate whatever sounded good at the time. Since most food sounded terrible, I ate what appealed to me. Did that mean I ate balanced meals everyday? No. But I did my best to take my vitamins and not worry too much. And look - Jack came out fine, even though I might not have had my daily recommended vegetable intake everyday.
-Food aversions are real. If you haven't experienced them, they sound made up, but there were times I knew there was no way I could eat a particular food, end of story. Sometimes it would happen even with food I asked for only minutes before. Don't feel guilty.
I spent a lot of the first 20 weeks feeling sad that I was not loving being pregnant. I wanted so badly to love it. I felt better when I started feeling Jack move since that helped remind me what all this sickness was for. And you know what? As soon as the nausea passed, I loved being pregnant every bit as much as I hoped. And next time, if I felt the same way, I wouldn't hesitate to try the drugs, because morning sickness sucks.
Have you ever heard that saying "what I fear, I create"? I thought about that saying a lot in my first 20 weeks. . .
I was nauseous all day, almost everyday, from the end of January until late April. It was not good. I hope that you continue to feel really good. But if you don't, I know how you feel. If you need them, here are some things that helped me. Otherwise, these are just reminders for me for the next time around:
-I kept food (usually dry cereal or almonds) next to my bed so I could eat in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning before I moved.
-Gingerale became my new best friend.
-Hunger was my enemy. When I got hungry, I felt sick, so I snacked constantly.
-I chewed gum a lot of the time, especially after lunch. I had to do it surreptitiously so my students wouldn't call me out on it, but it made a big difference.
-I ate whatever sounded good at the time. Since most food sounded terrible, I ate what appealed to me. Did that mean I ate balanced meals everyday? No. But I did my best to take my vitamins and not worry too much. And look - Jack came out fine, even though I might not have had my daily recommended vegetable intake everyday.
-Food aversions are real. If you haven't experienced them, they sound made up, but there were times I knew there was no way I could eat a particular food, end of story. Sometimes it would happen even with food I asked for only minutes before. Don't feel guilty.
I spent a lot of the first 20 weeks feeling sad that I was not loving being pregnant. I wanted so badly to love it. I felt better when I started feeling Jack move since that helped remind me what all this sickness was for. And you know what? As soon as the nausea passed, I loved being pregnant every bit as much as I hoped. And next time, if I felt the same way, I wouldn't hesitate to try the drugs, because morning sickness sucks.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
It's a Side-Effect of Pregnancy
That was my reasoning for everything weird I felt or did while I was pregnant. I'm not even sure I was lying.
I'm sure you've read lots about pregnancy at this point. When I was pregnant, I was amazed (and a little shocked) to read about all the possible things I might encounter. I think I had a pretty textbook pregnancy with a lot of the normal side effects. But when I'd feel something weird, a little reading often confirmed it was also a normal part of being pregnant. Fair enough, I guess; you are growing a whole second person inside you...
So no, you're not crazy. It's just a side effect of pregnancy. And, like someone said to me, you're going to go through some pretty strange things (before and after the baby's born), so if you need someone to ask questions to, I'm always here and happy to answer anything. Seriously.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
But Can I.....?
I felt like when I got pregnant, I was suddenly living in a different world. It felt like one day I was just going about my life as usual, and the next, after those two little pink lines appeared, there are all these new rules I had to follow.
When I started reading all the dos and don'ts of pregnancy (especially the first trimester), I felt overwhelmed. I felt like I was never going to be able to do everything right and I worried about how each thing I did (or didn't do) affected this tiny new person.
All that worry is a heavy weight to carry. And that's why I'm so thankful my group of maternity doctors came along when they did. They were a lovely group of women, several of them pregnant or with their own young children, so they got it. They understood the worry and the uncertainty and I was completely grateful for their common sense approach when it came to sorting through all the information out there. They always made me feel like I should trust myself and that (with a few exceptions) the things I decided to do or not do would all be fine and so would my baby. I felt about a thousand times calmer after seeing them.
Here are a few of the things from the early weeks that helped me the most:
No cheese or honey? Lots of books tell you to stay away from soft cheese and honey. What they really mean is to stay away from things that are un-pasteurized. In Canada, almost all dairy products you get are pasteurized (they say on the packaging if they are not). As long as they are, you're fine. Honey is the same thing -- look for one that says pasteurized.
How should I sleep? However you're comfortable. I loved that my doctors helped me feel confident in my body's ability to care for a baby. They told me my body would tell me when I should stop something, and they were right. I slept on my tummy until it wasn't comfortable anymore (they said that's what would happen, and it did). They also said that after about 20 weeks, I shouldn't sleep flat on my back (your belly can put too much pressure on different blood vessels and can make your legs feel numb, etc). But guess what? Your body knows that. If you sleep on your back too long, you wake up. Pretty cool.
Deli meats: You want them? Heat them up. Same with hot dogs.
Sushi: my doctor (who was also pregnant at the time) told us she loved California rolls so much, she couldn't give them up. So she picked a sushi place she trusted, stayed away from raw fish, and kept on eating it all the way through her pregnancy.
Mother risk: a little pamphlet you can get at drug stores that talks about all the medications that are safe (and ones that aren't) when you're pregnant. You can also find that information online at www.motherrisk.org (but be warned -- there's A LOT of info there!)
Most of all, what i appreciated was my doctors were big on being educated about these sorts of things and then choosing how you wanted to live and trying not to obsess over every choice you make. What a different that made for me.
When I started reading all the dos and don'ts of pregnancy (especially the first trimester), I felt overwhelmed. I felt like I was never going to be able to do everything right and I worried about how each thing I did (or didn't do) affected this tiny new person.
All that worry is a heavy weight to carry. And that's why I'm so thankful my group of maternity doctors came along when they did. They were a lovely group of women, several of them pregnant or with their own young children, so they got it. They understood the worry and the uncertainty and I was completely grateful for their common sense approach when it came to sorting through all the information out there. They always made me feel like I should trust myself and that (with a few exceptions) the things I decided to do or not do would all be fine and so would my baby. I felt about a thousand times calmer after seeing them.
Here are a few of the things from the early weeks that helped me the most:
No cheese or honey? Lots of books tell you to stay away from soft cheese and honey. What they really mean is to stay away from things that are un-pasteurized. In Canada, almost all dairy products you get are pasteurized (they say on the packaging if they are not). As long as they are, you're fine. Honey is the same thing -- look for one that says pasteurized.
How should I sleep? However you're comfortable. I loved that my doctors helped me feel confident in my body's ability to care for a baby. They told me my body would tell me when I should stop something, and they were right. I slept on my tummy until it wasn't comfortable anymore (they said that's what would happen, and it did). They also said that after about 20 weeks, I shouldn't sleep flat on my back (your belly can put too much pressure on different blood vessels and can make your legs feel numb, etc). But guess what? Your body knows that. If you sleep on your back too long, you wake up. Pretty cool.
Deli meats: You want them? Heat them up. Same with hot dogs.
Sushi: my doctor (who was also pregnant at the time) told us she loved California rolls so much, she couldn't give them up. So she picked a sushi place she trusted, stayed away from raw fish, and kept on eating it all the way through her pregnancy.
Mother risk: a little pamphlet you can get at drug stores that talks about all the medications that are safe (and ones that aren't) when you're pregnant. You can also find that information online at www.motherrisk.org (but be warned -- there's A LOT of info there!)
Most of all, what i appreciated was my doctors were big on being educated about these sorts of things and then choosing how you wanted to live and trying not to obsess over every choice you make. What a different that made for me.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
For Shy: An Explanation
Dear Shy,
When Jahn and I were making the decision to move back to Ottawa, one of the things that made me saddest was knowing I wouldn't be in Calgary to get to watch you become a mom. Pregnancy and parenting are such overwhelming experiences in so many ways (both indescribably wonderful and challenging) that I wanted to be here for you, to laugh with you and commiserate when things were tough. And if you ever wanted it, I hoped to be able to share the little bit of insight I've gained in the short time Jack's been here.
It's not that I have answers about anything. But I know how much it has helped me to have someone say "I know what you're going through. I've been there". So my hope is that I can be that person for you, even from across the country. And hopefully this blog will help, too. Because, as much as I feel I'll always remember what having a new baby is like, I know there are details I'll lose.
So, I hope you enjoy this and in those sad or scary or frustrating moments, I hope it can make you feel even a little bit better.
xo Kait
When Jahn and I were making the decision to move back to Ottawa, one of the things that made me saddest was knowing I wouldn't be in Calgary to get to watch you become a mom. Pregnancy and parenting are such overwhelming experiences in so many ways (both indescribably wonderful and challenging) that I wanted to be here for you, to laugh with you and commiserate when things were tough. And if you ever wanted it, I hoped to be able to share the little bit of insight I've gained in the short time Jack's been here.
It's not that I have answers about anything. But I know how much it has helped me to have someone say "I know what you're going through. I've been there". So my hope is that I can be that person for you, even from across the country. And hopefully this blog will help, too. Because, as much as I feel I'll always remember what having a new baby is like, I know there are details I'll lose.
So, I hope you enjoy this and in those sad or scary or frustrating moments, I hope it can make you feel even a little bit better.
xo Kait
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