Lifeline

I went to high school with a girl who is also named Caitlin. I met her when I worked on a show she was acting in, but she graduated the year I started high school, so I didn't know her very well. Flash forward more than 10 years. We had both moved to Calgary, where we were both teachers (she teaches high school drama). Her husband is a director who has worked at ATP. We connected a couple of times at parties or openings, but that was it. By the time we moved back to Ottawa, I hadn't seen her in at least a year, maybe more.

But a funny thing happened. We were both part of the same Facebook group for new moms in Calgary, because, by chance, she had a baby girl about three weeks after I had Jack. And through the magic of the internet, we connected over the fact neither of our babies slept. We started emailing back and forth when the babies were four or five months old.

That was more than seven months ago, but Caitlin and I still send emails every couple of days.  Even though we never managed to get together with our babies before we moved, I would still count her as one of the people I know I can tell almost anything to.  Because I know she understands.  Because I know she won't judge.  Until we connected, I felt like everyone had a baby who slept perfectly.  Like everyone else was getting to love every minute of being a new mom while I struggled through my days as a sleep-deprived zombie.  But when I found someone whose baby wasn't a perfect sleeper, someone who was as obsessed with sleep as I was, someone who was honest about hard days (and nights), I felt as though a huge weight was lifted because it wasn't just me anymore.

Finding other parents to connect with is really nice when you have a baby. They are people who understand what your days are like and don't mind that you have nothing interesting to say about ... well... anything much.  They don't comment on your wrinkled clothes, messy house, or lack of makeup. But for me, finding another parent who was (and, right now, still is) dealing with the same issues as me hasn't just been nice. It's been a life saver.  

When I heard about all of your friends who will have new babies around the time of yours, I was so happy for you.  Being a mom is amazing, but like I've said before, it can be an incredibly tough job, so I'm so glad for you that when you need a lifeline (in the form of another mom) you'll have people nearby.  And of course, I will always be another parent you can talk to anytime you need.  Especially since, chances are, I won't be sleeping anyway.